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Title: Five Things Ryan Loves About Brendon (And One That Scares Him)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] fleurdelisee
Word Count: ~2,900
Rating: R for mentions of sex and swear words
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: 3rd, Ryan-centric
Summary: Basically, Ryan makes no sense when it comes to Brendon.
Disclaimer: Never happened as far as I know. If you stumbled upon this by Googling your name (seriously, don't you know it was a bad idea?), please, for the love of everything that's good, go away.
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] devilswhore_x
Author Notes: This almost didn’t happen. Up to two days ago, I had absolutely no idea what to write for [livejournal.com profile] rydenrevival. I wanted to post something so, so much, but my mind was blank. Then, Sunday night, inspiration hit me. One day and five hours later, it was written. Of course, it was completely incoherent and it would still be if my wonderful beta hadn’t done her usual magic over it. You want fluff, you’ll get fluff. I’m shutting up now. Enjoy.

1. How he always needs to touch Ryan

Brendon needs to touch people. He needs to hug them, touch their arm as he talks to them, tickle, poke, push, hold their hand, anything to feel skin on skin. Ryan's best guess is that it helps him create a link with the person, make them see that he's listening, that he's there (like he really needs to announce his presence).

Ryan wasn't a physical person. Before he met Brendon, the only three people who had ever hugged him were Spencer, Spencer's mother and his own mother. Brendon arrived and within one week of knowing him, he had been hugged five times more than in the span of his entire life.

After a few months, Ryan was hugging people. Not only Brendon or Spencer, but Brent and even Pete Wentz because it had become a natural way for him to greet someone (that's also when he realized he spent maybe too much time with Brendon.)

As attached to him as Brendon was, it amplified by a hundred when they began dating. From then on, he couldn't be in the same room as Ryan without touching him in some way. It became a problem when Brendon would continue to touch him during photoshoots. Some photographers saw it as a game and made it look like so; others completely misunderstood it (or actually, saw clearly behind the lie) and they ended up having to choose between a picture where it looked like Brendon had his hand on Ryan's ass and one where he was literally wrapped around him. (They finally chose the first one, Jon assuring them that no one would see it that way. That was before Jon discovered just how clever their fans can be.)

During interviews, if they're sitting behind a table, Brendon will be holding his hand through the whole thing. If they're not, he'll sit close enough so that their thighs are touching, or he'll cross his legs so his foot touches his knee, any way to touch him and make it look involuntary.

Ryan loves it, mainly because he loves touching Brendon too, but is too awkward to do it in plain view. He would never dare to go up to Brendon during a party, curl a hand around his hip from behind and kiss him softly on the neck; Brendon does. He wouldn't wrap his arms around Brendon's neck while he do soundchecks for his guitars and start whispering obscenities in his ear until he can't remember a single chord; Brendon finds it a normal thing to do.

After years of no physical contact, there's nothing better than to fall asleep in a small bunk bed with Brendon's warm body wrapped around his, stroking his stomach or running his fingers through his hair.

2. How he always borrows Ryan's clothes and ruins them

They've had contests – with bets and serious measuring techniques – to determine who's skinnier between Ryan, William and Brendon (they were drunk and baked.) Even though William and Brendon offered some serious competition, Ryan won. William was too tall to really be considered skinny and Brendon's ass made him lose. Ryan even got a trophy, consisting of a twig with a piece of fabric wrapped around it, supposed to represent one of his scarves (only Brendon knows he still has it and secretly treasures it.)

So, it's still a complete mystery to him why Brendon never stopped borrowing his clothes. If he makes the mistake to buy a shirt that Brendon likes, he'll find it stretched the next time he wants to wear it. It's not like Brendon doesn't own a boatload of clothes that are equally as good as Ryan's.

He's not even careful with his stealing. It's easy when they're on tour to explain why Brendon wears a shirt that is very clearly Ryan's, something Ryan's been wearing on a picture or during an interview. They can say that they wash their clothes all together and that sometimes they mix them up by mistake. It's harder when they're not on tour. There's nothing they can say that won't sound suspicious.

Also, not only does Brendon stretch his clothes but he ruins them, too. He is the messiest, clumsiest person Ryan's ever meet. There is not a meal during which Brendon doesn't make a mess. Most of the time, it ends up on his clothes and most of the time, he's wearing Ryan's clothes. He stopped counting the number of shirts he ruined with red wine, chocolate syrup or strawberry juice. It's like everything Brendon brings to his mouth is attracted by his clothes. Ryan's clothes, rather.

As if that weren't enough, he finds a way to rip the minority of shirts he hasn’t already stretched or stained. Ryan would understand ripping jeans, as Brendon rarely sits still and trips over his own feet when he walks. The thing is, he doesn't borrow Ryan jeans. They don't fit him. He rips his shirts and seriously, Ryan has no idea how. He never ripped a shirt in his entire life and Brendon managed to do it to seven shirts within six months.

Ryan would never, ever admit – not even under torture – that he finds it really hot to see Brendon with his shirts on. They are skin-tight on him, hugging his body close, they outline the curve of his hips and make his ass look obscene. It's also ridiculously adorable how Brendon once admitted that he does that to feel close to Ryan wherever he is. There is no way he can stay mad at Brendon for ruining every single piece of clothing he owns.

The best thing about Brendon stealing his clothes is that when Ryan puts a hoodie on, he smells Brendon all over it. It doesn’t even matter that the left cuff is almost falling off.

3. How he uses Ryan's skin as a canvas when he's bored

Brendon has an unreasonable love for felt pens. He has his very own collection, with every possible color to ever be invented for markers, which is separate from the ones he uses to sign autographs. He keeps them in a box and thinks Ryan doesn't know about them (he hides them at the bottom of their wardrobe, under all the shoe boxes.)

He loves to leave notes around the house with them, each color having their very specific use. Red is to remind Ryan to pay the bills. Pink is reserved for i love you's and hearts randomly slipped in his notebooks. He keeps green for grocery lists and orange for checklists before they leave for tour.

Ryan barely notices them anymore but it always creates many reactions when the other bands on tour start finding them in their own buses. Ryan always tells him to not write notes for everyone else, because some people might find it annoying (or a waste of paper, as Andy very pointedly explained to Brendon in a speech that lasted for half an hour.) The only time no one said a thing was when he used his precious pink pen (though only Ryan knew why it was so precious) to stick a note on Vicky's hand mirror that said 'stop it, you're beautiful after he heard she'd been feeling down for the past weeks.

People also become Brendon's best friend when comes the time to make fun of drunk people. Gabe, especially, who makes it a ritual to draw all over the first one to pass out during one of his parties. That's how Nate once woke up with a fuchsia mustache and his entire body covered in red dicks.

The one thing he prefers to do with them, though, is draw on Ryan. As long as he keeps his hands, upper arms and neck clear, Ryan doesn't mind. So, yes, there was that one time Brendon was mad at him and wrote 'i love cock on his neck right before a television interview, but Ryan really deserved it, even he can admit it.

Brendon's favorite surface to draw on is Ryan's back. Whenever he's bored, when Spencer, Zack and Jon are watching a movie that has too many girls in low cut tops for Brendon's liking, he'll hunt Ryan down, force him to lie on his stomach and start drawing on him. Ryan loves to feel Brendon's hands ghosting over his skin as he wonders what he'll draw. The younger boy will always make sure to warm the tip of the pens before putting them to his boyfriend's skin and he'll always be careful not to press too hard.

Most people make fun of him when they see the faint remains of a bright blue 'Brendon's on the small of his back but, in Ryan's opinion, there's nothing that will beat waking up with a large, pink MINE written on his stomach.

4. How Ryan could get off only on the noises he makes in bed

Everyone expects Brendon to be loud in the sack. Ryan doesn't blame them, he himself thought so. It's an easy enough equation; he's loud all the time, he has to be in bed too.

The first time they had sex, Ryan freaked out. Brendon wasn't making any sound, just soft gasps and low hums and Ryan was pretty much convinced he was bad and Brendon would break up with him because of that.

He worried for a month, not daring to ask Brendon why he was so quiet, so terrified that he would lose him if he gave him the opportunity to tell him just how bad he was at sex. Brendon was his first boy and he still wasn't too sure of how it worked, and maybe his girlfriends had been faking it all along; he was slowly losing his mind.

It's when he caught Brendon jerking off that he realized, hey, maybe Brendon's always quiet during sex. He also learned, later, after they discussed it, awkwardly and blushing all over the place, that Brendon was really shy at first and didn't dare make any noise not to sound like an idiot.

Then, one day, as they were quickly getting each other off in the bathroom before a gig (hormones are a bitch, okay?) Brendon made that noise, halfway between a hiccup and a moan. Seconds later, Ryan was coming, biting down on Brendon's shoulder to stifle his own moans, still unsure of what brought him to the edge this fast.

The next time Brendon made that noise, they were making love during one of the very rare hotel nights. Ryan was, for once, pretty content that Brendon was almost silent because just on the other side of the wall, Pete and Joe were probably waiting for them to make a noise they could tease them about for the rest of the tour.

Ryan was slowly moving into him, staring into Brendon's eyes. Brendon was smiling lazily, his hips moving up to meet Ryan's. When that particularly noise escaped Brendon's throat, Ryan gasped and involuntarily pushed his hips forward roughly before coming and okay, that was awkward because he had better stamina when he was fourteen.

Nowadays, Ryan learned to control the way he reacts when Brendon does that noise (probably on purpose sometimes, only to tease Ryan about his stamina afterwards.) It's still hard, though, because the way Brendon's face changes when he does it, how his mouth opens, his lips red and sinful, his eyes closing, the panting that follows and his fingers digging into Ryan's flesh are, most of the time, enough to make him come on the spot. As if Brendon as a whole wasn't sometimes enough (seriously, this boy's hips and ass are obscene when he's clothed, which he isn't very often.)

5. How he can't help acting like a child

Ryan lives so close to Brendon all the time that there are things about him he doesn't notice anymore. Mainly, it explains why he's always surprised to have people ask him how old Brendon is. Usually, Ryan will frown or give them a blank face until they explain, and that's when he realizes that, yes, okay, maybe sometimes Brendon acts like a kid.

It's because Brendon is putting so much effort in trying to act his age. He really does and Ryan is sometimes impressed at how much work on himself he does daily. The only problem is that Brendon was always the baby in his family and he got away all his life with acting as such (he did have to mature suddenly during his last year of high school but they're not talking about that.)

Brendon's Pout (yes, with a capital letter) is pretty legendary. Ryan is yet to meet someone who can resist it (and is not a member of Brendon's family). The biggest victim of it is Zack, who is absolutely unable to say no to Brendon, no matter what he asks, even if it's IHOP in the middle of the night. Ryan is still amazed at how it comes naturally on Brendon's face when he's upset, even if the entire argument before it was mature and coherent. As soon as someone disagrees with him or tells him no, The Pout appears, making him win automatically. Brendon once told Ryan that these victories aren't as satisfying as the real ones. Ryan just kissed him and stroked his hair with a smile, silently wondering how he is even real.

When Ryan stops to think about it, most immature things about Brendon are automatic, he doesn't even realizes he does them before it's too late. If he's mad, frustrated, angry, he'll stomp his foot. It's ridiculous and even Ryan, who was an impossible child, stopped doing that when he turned seven. Whenever it happens to him, Brendon will storm out of the room, not out of frustration but out of shame for acting childishly again.

Of course, some parts of it are adorable and melt Ryan's heart a little when they happen. How his eyes twinkle and his face breaks into a grin for the simplest things. The way he clutches the covers to his chest and rubs his cheek against the pillow a few times when he's about to fall asleep never fails to make Ryan want to squish him.

(How true and open he is about his feelings)

If Brendon loves you, you know it. It's the same if he hates you, though Ryan's never seen him hate anyone the whole time he's known him. He's not afraid to tell people he loves them, to show them in the best ways he can come up with. Incidentally, if someone he loves isn't feeling good, he'll do everything he can to make them feel better.

If he's angry, he'll say it, loud and clear. If he's sad, he'll say it, which is always unsettling because no one except Brendon comes up to people and tells them he's not feeling too good today, Ry, can you just hold me please I'm sad and I need you. At least, in Ryan's world, no one does.

The scariest part, though, is how true and deep his love for Ryan is, and how he's not afraid to show him. It scares Ryan like nothing ever scared him before (not even his father in the E.R, when the doctor said he wasn't sure he would survive the night.)

Ryan never admitted it, but he knew from the start that Brendon loved him. It was pretty obvious after two weeks that Brendon was more than a little infatuated. It scared Ryan so much that only Spencer's bitchiest bitch face kept him from pushing Brendon away.

Years later, when Ryan gathered the courage to open his eyes and admit he might love Brendon back just this side of too much, he almost backed away after their first kiss from how much love Brendon put in it. Still, over a year later, Ryan is still terrified by how much Brendon isn't afraid to show him he loves him.

It took Ryan six months to reply with I love you, too instead of me too. The first time he did, the look on Brendon's face was so genuine, so honest and true that Ryan felt his heart tighten and had to hide his face in the boy's neck to hide his tears and his stupid grin.

Brendon always means it when he says he loves Ryan. He always puts all of his heart in it and sometimes it would be enough to send Ryan in a panic attack. He never realized he was afraid of commitment until Brendon came in his life. He can't see himself with anyone else except Brendon for the rest of his life, but the depth and the intensity of their love, mixed with how easily he shows it, sometimes Ryan feels like it's too good to be true and that it'll go away one day.

Basically, he makes no sense when it comes to Brendon and even as scared as he is about this, he wouldn't give it up.


Other Stories.

Date: 2009-10-30 01:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starlesscities.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-10-30 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

Date: 2009-10-30 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andimlulu.livejournal.com
This was so cute *____*

Date: 2009-10-30 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you! <3

Date: 2009-10-30 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n3g4r.livejournal.com
aw I wanna squish Brendon too:D
this was really cute:P

Date: 2009-10-30 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Don't we all want to?

Thank you!

Date: 2009-10-30 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devilswhore-x.livejournal.com
\o/ &you; ♥

Date: 2009-10-31 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-11-02 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] habezweikatzen.livejournal.com
This is so ridiculously precious! ♥

Date: 2009-11-02 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you! ♥

Date: 2009-11-02 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redorchids.livejournal.com
This is so gorgeous. Couldn't stop smiling. Beautiful Ryan pov.

Date: 2009-11-02 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you so much :)
Most people don't, but I find it easier to write Ryan's pov. I love his mind.

Date: 2009-11-02 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] redorchids.livejournal.com
I do too. There's just so much to look at there. :)

Date: 2009-11-02 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Exactly. Writing Brendon is nice too but I tend to make him too childish, so I stick to Ryan most of the time.

Date: 2009-11-03 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littleladypunk.livejournal.com
I'm going to sleep surrounded by a warm pink glow, and it's all because of your fic. That was just perfect. <333

Date: 2009-11-03 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it!
Wow, you mem'd it! Thank you so much!

Also, your icon is awesome :)

Date: 2009-11-03 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] watchingthe-sky.livejournal.com

Oh, so precious!

Date: 2009-11-04 01:33 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-11-03 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fannyt.livejournal.com
Pretty pretty pretty. Mmm. Especially the last one -- prreeeetttyy. It's a bittersweet kind of ending, but I love that about it -- I adore it when love is just like that, huge and real and scary, and it makes sense that it would kind of freak Ryan out.

(But really he loves it, yes?)

Date: 2009-11-04 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Of course he loves it. He loves it because it keeps him on the edge all the time and because Brendon is bigger than nature and makes his heart swell every time he looks at him. ♥

Thank you so much! :D

Date: 2009-11-03 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] homonyymi.livejournal.com
Mmmmm so good! *o*

The last part was kinda adorable, Ryan scared and freaking out.

Date: 2009-11-04 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Of course Ryan is freaking out, he's Ryan. ♥

Date: 2009-11-04 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calmgravity.livejournal.com
I... *dies and went to Ryden Heaven*

Date: 2009-11-04 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calmgravity.livejournal.com
:) oh and uuhhh... If you don't mind, I added you. ♥ :) I really love all your fics. :)

Date: 2009-11-05 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
I don't mind at all :)

Once again, thank you :) :*

Date: 2009-11-06 12:05 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
i dont even like slash anymore (or ryan ross for that matter), but this was sooooo cute and perfect!

Date: 2009-11-06 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you!

It's a shame that you don't anymore :(

Date: 2009-11-07 05:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivesia19.livejournal.com
It took Ryan six months to reply with I love you, too instead of me too. The first time he did, the look on Brendon's face was so genuine, so honest and true that Ryan felt his heart tighten and had to hide his face in the boy's neck to hide his tears and his stupid grin.

this whole thing was fabulous, but that part up there made me melt!

Date: 2009-11-09 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2009-11-08 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alphabetatoast.livejournal.com

Ryan never admitted it, but he knew from the start that Brendon loved him.

nggghhhhhh! I love this. And you.
Utter perfection. <3

Date: 2009-11-09 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you! <3

I love you, too ♥

Date: 2009-11-10 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xoneandonlyx.livejournal.com
well this was completely perfect and precious!

Date: 2009-11-11 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!
Oh, mems <3

Date: 2010-01-11 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eastdisease.livejournal.com
The only time no one said a thing was when he used his precious pink pen (though only Ryan knew why it was so precious) to stick a note on Vicky's hand mirror that said 'stop it, you're beautiful after he heard she'd been feeling down for the past weeks.

Dear lord that is the sweetest thing ever.

It took Ryan six months to reply with I love you, too instead of me too. The first time he did, the look on Brendon's face was so genuine, so honest and true that Ryan felt his heart tighten and had to hide his face in the boy's neck to hide his tears and his stupid grin.


So maybe I read this a couple of months late, but damn, thank you for this because it is beautiful and lovely and just all kinds of awesome

This is going to my memories, for sure

Date: 2010-01-11 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleurdelisee.livejournal.com
Aww, thank you so much :) I'm glad you liked it!
There's nothing like a comment popping up months after a fic was posted <3


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