You're Loveable, But You're Just Troubled
Feb. 23rd, 2011 03:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fleurdeliseebckpTitle: You're Loveable, But You're Just Troubled
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fleurdelisee
Word Count: 2,700
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
POV: 3rd.
Summary: Blaine’s life is apparently doomed to be filled with confusion.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Spoilers: Blame It On The Alcohol (2x14)
Beta:sisterxshotgun
Author Notes: One of the quickest thing I ever wrote, it’s mainly my reaction to there being no reconciliation on screen tonight.xiexiegirl pretty much forced me to do it, but then she had to go to bed so the poor sisterxshotgun, who’s not even into Glee, had to fill in to beta it. Go give her cookies, I think I gave us the Klaine virus. Title taken from I Am Not A Robot by Marina and the Diamonds.
Blaine is not an idiot. He can tell Kurt is still upset at him. He may act like everything is fine between them since the Rachel Berry Episode of his life is behind him, but Blaine knows him well enough by now to know it’s not the truth. He also knows Kurt is too proud to admit that something is wrong, even if the entire galaxy noticed.
Again, Blaine is not stupid, and he knows what is wrong. Well, he knows the general area of the reason behind Kurt’s Ice Queen mood. It has to do with Rachel, and bisexuality, and possibly other things. He really needs to watch When Harry Met Sally again. Possibly while taking notes.
So, Blaine first tries to make it clear he’s not into Rachel. He confronts Kurt armed with coffee and his favourite biscotti after a rehearsal.
“I can’t believe I thought I was into Rachel Berry. I mean, she’s nice and everything, but no. There’s nothing there. No fireworks, nothing.”
Confrontation might have been a strong word. He brings up the subject nonchalantly, hoping for a resolution.
“That’s outstanding.” Kurt’s reply is so cold, Blaine is pretty sure the coffee Kurt is holding is now iced from the way he talked around it. “Anyway, even if you did have something for her, after the ‘Jesse St James Massacre,’ I don’t think it would have worked. Rachel is like me, you would have come second behind the competition between you two.”
Blaine is not sure whether he should take what Kurt just said negatively or not, so he stays silent until Kurt starts talking about Regionals.
Clearly, it has nothing to do with Rachel, so it’s the bisexuality fight. That one is trickier, since their opinions on the matter are as conflicting as they come. Blaine knows he will need more than coffee and biscotti if Kurt is upset because he doubted his sexual orientation – which, by the way, makes no sense, but Blaine values their friendship enough to step down and brush it off, he is so on his way to be a grown-up, it’s almost scary.
He takes Kurt out for a movie this time, hoping that watching Black Swan for the fourth time might put him in the mood to discuss and stop being angry. It would have been easier if Kurt’s new favourite movie was something like No Strings Attached in terms of mood, but Blaine will deal with ballet and psychosis, even if that means getting Tchaikovsky’s compositions stuck in his head for another week.
“So, Kurt, hum.” Nice start. He is so coherent and eloquent. “About that other time. I was confused and, well, confused, and I didn’t really know who I was anymore and I was trying to figure it out, you know?” Kurt only raised an eyebrow, Ice Queen mood back in force. “Yeah, anyway, I’m gay. A hundred percent gay, I’m sure of it, now.”
“Good.”
It obviously was not that, either. That is just brilliant, really. His best friend is mad at him and he has no idea why and he is too damn proud to ask him. If only he had cool friends like Kurt has to confide in, but just the idea of asking David his opinion on the matter is making him shudder. David is a nice guy alright, but they are not there. Blaine does not exactly want to go there with him.
The weirdest thing is that he still hangs out with Kurt like everything is fine, even though he knows it is not the case. They still get coffee after rehearsals, they still have lunch together, study together, walk to their classes together, text each other, and that is all very confusing for Blaine. He’s never had anyone passively angry at him, and he does not know how to deal with it.
After two weeks of this regime, Blaine has had enough. He does not know how to act around Kurt anymore, he’s afraid that anything he might say will upset him, he’s even losing sleep over this. He hates having people mad at him and it literally makes him sick to think that some people could possibly dislike him. His need for approval and love is probably a problem, but it will have to wait before he focuses on them. He has more important matters at hand.
A silent moment in their usual post-rehearsal coffee – he won’t say the word ‘date’, that would be crossing a line – meeting seems like the right moment, so he jumps in.
“You’re angry at me.”
Kurt looks away from the window and sets a questioning look on Blaine, his eyebrow quirked. “What makes you think that?”
“I can tell. You’re not--you anymore. Something’s bothering you, and I know it’s something I did.”
“You’re not nearly as oblivious as I thought,” Kurt comments dryly, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Can you stop with the passive-aggressivity? Please? I’m trying to be serious right now.”
“Fine.” Kurt sighs, setting his hands flat on the table before he continues. “Yes, Blaine, I’m mad at you, if you really want to know.”
“Can I ask you why?”
Kurt bites his lip and looks out the window for a moment. “I think I made it pretty clear that I’m—interested in you. I know we agreed to wait and see how it goes and that’s fine, really. But it’s really hard for me to watch you go around kissing people when we’re supposed to work on something, whatever that is.”
“I honestly don’t know what to say to this,” Blaine lets out quietly. It was not because he kissed Rachel, but because he kissed Rachel. The location of the emphasis changes the entire situation and Blaine gets it, he finally does.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” Blaine replies, putting his hand over Kurt’s. “I like you, Kurt. That I made clear as well, I think. But, I have a feeling you—like me more than I do you. For now.” Blaine bites the inside of his cheeks the second the words are out. This is so not what he wanted to say. It came out all wrong, and he’s pretty sure Kurt will explode.
Kurt lets out a single laugh, devoid of any happiness. He pulls his hand away from Blaine’s, instead clinging to the scarf still hanging around his neck. “Isn’t that jolly?”
“No, don’t react like this! I’m working on it. I really am.” Blaine leans forward as he says that, putting his hand over his heart, trying his best to show Kurt how sincere he is in that instant.
He is. Every minute he spends with Kurt, he falls a little more for him. It’s a slow-process, but he is pretty sure it will only make his feelings more durable. The word permanent comes to his mind but it’s a scary word in that context. Full of meaning and stuff he is way too young to think about.
“You’re working on loving me? How is that supposed to make me feel better? Face it, Blaine. It would be convenient for you to like me because I’m the only out gay guy you know.” Kurt swiftly gets up and puts on his coat, shaking his head at Blaine when their eyes meet. “You know, I guess it never crossed your mind but I might have liked ‘experimenting’ with you, like you did with Rachel. I could have helped you figure out if you’re really gay.”
Before Blaine can reply, Kurt is gone and how much he screwed up finally sinks in. Without a second thought for the nearly full cups he paid for and that he’s about to leave behind, he grabs his things and leaves after Kurt, speeding up when he sees him get in his car.
“Kurt! Wait, please!” he calls across the parking lot. There is no way he is letting Kurt leave after that conversation. He stops by the boy’s car, tapping the window with his finger a few times. Kurt rolls it down without looking at him. “This conversation did not go as planned. It came out all wrong.”
“You think?” Kurt deadpans, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah. It sounded like I have to try to like you when what I wanted to say is that I like you more and more every time I see you. I’m falling hard, Kurt, and it’s scary. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even talk about it properly. I’ve never felt this before.”
Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning against the head rest. Without a word, he rolls up the window, turns the engine off and steps out of his car. “Let’s walk.”
Blaine agrees to Kurt’s offer to walk around town mainly because he feels he is going to need distractions if they start talking about their feelings. He would not be able to do it in a low setting like the coffee shop or Kurt’s car. The weather is surprisingly nice for that time of the year and Blaine is disoriented to hear birds chirping in late winter, in Ohio.
“I don’t know—” Blaine begins.
“Stop talking. I need to think,” Kurt snaps, shoving his hands deeper in his pocket and skipping over a puddle.
Blaine lets him think, even after half an hour of silently wandering the streets of downtown Lima. He thinks, too, about what this could mean for the both of them if a positive reconciliation comes out of it. Blaine glances at Kurt and feels a smile forming on his lips. Kurt’s cheeks are reddened by the winter air and his face is set in such a way that it looks like he is pouting. Yes, Blaine is falling really hard, and he has no idea where he is going to land.
“Let’s go to my place,” Kurt finally says, looking at Blaine.
Blaine almost refuses. He is still not over Kurt’s father finding him in his son’s bed, hung over, but declining Kurt’s offer sounds like an even worse idea. He nods and they head back to the parking lot to get their respective cars.
Blaine’s nerves set in when they sit on Kurt’s bed. He mindlessly begins stroking the fur blanket Kurt keeps on his bed and he does not miss the small smile on Kurt’s face when he catches him doing it.
“I’m sorry,” Blaine blurts out.
Kurt nods, pressing his lips together, avoiding Blaine’s eyes.
“I’ve been thinking,” Kurt begins, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to his chest. “If kissing Rachel made you doubt pretty much your entire identity—maybe kissing me would make you know whether you only like me or you like me.”
Blaine swallows, digging his fingers in the brown fur and watching them disappear, not daring to look up. “Maybe,” he answers, clearing his throat afterwards. “Yeah.” Yes, that would definitely confirm stuff. Well, the way his heart is now threatening to beat out of his ribcage is already answer enough, if he’s honest.
Blaine actually hears Kurt swallowing, and then his breath itches when Kurt moves closer to him. “I think it’s funny how both our first kisses were with girls.”
Blaine tries to chuckle, but his throat is too dry. “You’re not angry anymore?” he asks to buy himself some time.
Kurt’s hand is right next to his on the blanket, his fingers threading through the fur like Blaine’s. “You’ve been honest. I could not ask for more, even if your answer does not exactly please me. I’ll take it, though.”
“Kurt, listen,” Blaine says, letting his fingers brush over Kurt’s. “I know you—I like you a lot, and I care about you. And I know all of those feelings are constantly growing. I—I really want to be with you, but I want to do this right.”
Blaine risks a glance up and sees a small smile on Kurt’s face as the boy watches their now joined hands.
“Is there really a right way to do this?” Kurt asks. “As far as I know, there’s no manual. Whatever feels right.”
Blaine nods, letting what Kurt said sink in for a moment. “This feels right,” he finally replies in a quiet voice.
“Yes.”
They look up at the same time, their eyes meeting. Kurt’s hand is warm in his and he squeezes it, his smile mirroring Kurt’s.
“I don’t know yet if I’ll ever feel something stronger for you,” Blaine begins and why couldn’t he stay quiet, he is going to ruin everything again. “I mean—stronger than what I have right now. Whatever that is.”
“I don’t think I possibly can, personally.”
“Why do you have to be so sure of who you are and what you feel while I’m just—flailing and being confused all the time?” Blaine nearly whines.
Kurt chuckles. “I’m not. The difference is that I deal with my own thoughts alone instead of bringing other people into it and when it’s too much, I know when to ask for help.”
“I’d need help right now,” Blaine mutters, rolling his eyes.
“My offer still stands.”
The room becomes eerily quiet after Blaine lets out a whispered ‘okay’. Blaine’s heart is once again trying to beat out of his chest and his mouth feels like he licked a block of salt for the past hour. It’s Kurt’s turn to tighten his grip on Blaine’s hand as he leans forward. Blaine closes his eyes after seeing Kurt do the same and he holds his breath. He is actually terrified of what might come out of that kiss.
Their lips meet and Blaine knows. He knows. It’s over too quickly and it’s too chaste, but it’s enough to straighten his mind. He opens his eyes and sees that Kurt’s are still closed. Kurt is breathing heavily, his lips slightly parted and his fingers pressed on them.
“Wow,” Kurt breathes out, finally opening his eyes.
“I think I need another one. To make sure I concluded the right thing,” Blaine says tentatively, biting his lips. He doesn’t miss Kurt’s eyes shifting from holding Blaine’s gaze to his mouth, nor the blush that colours his cheeks.
“Okay,” Kurt whispers.
Blaine shuts his eyes first this time, the action involuntarily happening when Kurt’s shaking hand cups his jaw. Blaine’s breath itches when he feels Kurt’s lips on his, feels the boy pecking at his lips delicately, almost hesitantly. It’s headed to be exactly like their first one – Blaine’s mind is reeling, their first kiss - so Blaine kisses back, pressing his lips longer and harder on Kurt’s.
It’s Kurt who breaks the kiss, almost jerking away and leaning on his hands, clearly staying as far from Blaine as he can without actually moving away.
“Did it help?” he asks, his voice higher than usual.
“Yes,” Blaine answers in a white voice. “It did.”
“And what’s the conclusion?”
Blaine almost goes for comedy, he almost says ‘well, I’m gay, that’s for sure,’ but Kurt’s eyes are earnest and scared and he cannot do this to him. “I like you a lot more than I thought.”
Kurt’s face breaks into a grin and Blaine laughs when he tries to hide it.
“Well, that’s good news,” Kurt says once he stops, looking too thrilled to talk.
“Is it?” Blaine is leaning forward, his eyes set on Kurt’s mouth.
He kisses Kurt before he can reply, gripping Kurt’s shoulder to steady himself and not topple on him. Kurt is smiling into the kiss, which in turn makes Blaine smile, resulting on the both of them just smiling against the other’s mouth and Blaine would feel ridiculous if it didn’t feel so damn good.
“This should be called the Rachel Berry Test,” Kurt comments once they finally break apart, their foreheads still pressed together.
“I’m sure she would be thrilled.”
“Knowing her? Yes, she would.”
Blaine presses his lips against Kurt’s once more, and while he moans when their tongues touch, he will forever overview this detail to focus on the groan that escapes Kurt’s throat at the same time.
Other Stories.
Author:
fleurdeliseeWord Count: 2,700
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
POV: 3rd.
Summary: Blaine’s life is apparently doomed to be filled with confusion.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Spoilers: Blame It On The Alcohol (2x14)
Beta:
sisterxshotgunAuthor Notes: One of the quickest thing I ever wrote, it’s mainly my reaction to there being no reconciliation on screen tonight.
xiexiegirl pretty much forced me to do it, but then she had to go to bed so the poor sisterxshotgun, who’s not even into Glee, had to fill in to beta it. Go give her cookies, I think I gave us the Klaine virus. Title taken from I Am Not A Robot by Marina and the Diamonds.Blaine is not an idiot. He can tell Kurt is still upset at him. He may act like everything is fine between them since the Rachel Berry Episode of his life is behind him, but Blaine knows him well enough by now to know it’s not the truth. He also knows Kurt is too proud to admit that something is wrong, even if the entire galaxy noticed.
Again, Blaine is not stupid, and he knows what is wrong. Well, he knows the general area of the reason behind Kurt’s Ice Queen mood. It has to do with Rachel, and bisexuality, and possibly other things. He really needs to watch When Harry Met Sally again. Possibly while taking notes.
So, Blaine first tries to make it clear he’s not into Rachel. He confronts Kurt armed with coffee and his favourite biscotti after a rehearsal.
“I can’t believe I thought I was into Rachel Berry. I mean, she’s nice and everything, but no. There’s nothing there. No fireworks, nothing.”
Confrontation might have been a strong word. He brings up the subject nonchalantly, hoping for a resolution.
“That’s outstanding.” Kurt’s reply is so cold, Blaine is pretty sure the coffee Kurt is holding is now iced from the way he talked around it. “Anyway, even if you did have something for her, after the ‘Jesse St James Massacre,’ I don’t think it would have worked. Rachel is like me, you would have come second behind the competition between you two.”
Blaine is not sure whether he should take what Kurt just said negatively or not, so he stays silent until Kurt starts talking about Regionals.
Clearly, it has nothing to do with Rachel, so it’s the bisexuality fight. That one is trickier, since their opinions on the matter are as conflicting as they come. Blaine knows he will need more than coffee and biscotti if Kurt is upset because he doubted his sexual orientation – which, by the way, makes no sense, but Blaine values their friendship enough to step down and brush it off, he is so on his way to be a grown-up, it’s almost scary.
He takes Kurt out for a movie this time, hoping that watching Black Swan for the fourth time might put him in the mood to discuss and stop being angry. It would have been easier if Kurt’s new favourite movie was something like No Strings Attached in terms of mood, but Blaine will deal with ballet and psychosis, even if that means getting Tchaikovsky’s compositions stuck in his head for another week.
“So, Kurt, hum.” Nice start. He is so coherent and eloquent. “About that other time. I was confused and, well, confused, and I didn’t really know who I was anymore and I was trying to figure it out, you know?” Kurt only raised an eyebrow, Ice Queen mood back in force. “Yeah, anyway, I’m gay. A hundred percent gay, I’m sure of it, now.”
“Good.”
It obviously was not that, either. That is just brilliant, really. His best friend is mad at him and he has no idea why and he is too damn proud to ask him. If only he had cool friends like Kurt has to confide in, but just the idea of asking David his opinion on the matter is making him shudder. David is a nice guy alright, but they are not there. Blaine does not exactly want to go there with him.
The weirdest thing is that he still hangs out with Kurt like everything is fine, even though he knows it is not the case. They still get coffee after rehearsals, they still have lunch together, study together, walk to their classes together, text each other, and that is all very confusing for Blaine. He’s never had anyone passively angry at him, and he does not know how to deal with it.
After two weeks of this regime, Blaine has had enough. He does not know how to act around Kurt anymore, he’s afraid that anything he might say will upset him, he’s even losing sleep over this. He hates having people mad at him and it literally makes him sick to think that some people could possibly dislike him. His need for approval and love is probably a problem, but it will have to wait before he focuses on them. He has more important matters at hand.
A silent moment in their usual post-rehearsal coffee – he won’t say the word ‘date’, that would be crossing a line – meeting seems like the right moment, so he jumps in.
“You’re angry at me.”
Kurt looks away from the window and sets a questioning look on Blaine, his eyebrow quirked. “What makes you think that?”
“I can tell. You’re not--you anymore. Something’s bothering you, and I know it’s something I did.”
“You’re not nearly as oblivious as I thought,” Kurt comments dryly, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Can you stop with the passive-aggressivity? Please? I’m trying to be serious right now.”
“Fine.” Kurt sighs, setting his hands flat on the table before he continues. “Yes, Blaine, I’m mad at you, if you really want to know.”
“Can I ask you why?”
Kurt bites his lip and looks out the window for a moment. “I think I made it pretty clear that I’m—interested in you. I know we agreed to wait and see how it goes and that’s fine, really. But it’s really hard for me to watch you go around kissing people when we’re supposed to work on something, whatever that is.”
“I honestly don’t know what to say to this,” Blaine lets out quietly. It was not because he kissed Rachel, but because he kissed Rachel. The location of the emphasis changes the entire situation and Blaine gets it, he finally does.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” Blaine replies, putting his hand over Kurt’s. “I like you, Kurt. That I made clear as well, I think. But, I have a feeling you—like me more than I do you. For now.” Blaine bites the inside of his cheeks the second the words are out. This is so not what he wanted to say. It came out all wrong, and he’s pretty sure Kurt will explode.
Kurt lets out a single laugh, devoid of any happiness. He pulls his hand away from Blaine’s, instead clinging to the scarf still hanging around his neck. “Isn’t that jolly?”
“No, don’t react like this! I’m working on it. I really am.” Blaine leans forward as he says that, putting his hand over his heart, trying his best to show Kurt how sincere he is in that instant.
He is. Every minute he spends with Kurt, he falls a little more for him. It’s a slow-process, but he is pretty sure it will only make his feelings more durable. The word permanent comes to his mind but it’s a scary word in that context. Full of meaning and stuff he is way too young to think about.
“You’re working on loving me? How is that supposed to make me feel better? Face it, Blaine. It would be convenient for you to like me because I’m the only out gay guy you know.” Kurt swiftly gets up and puts on his coat, shaking his head at Blaine when their eyes meet. “You know, I guess it never crossed your mind but I might have liked ‘experimenting’ with you, like you did with Rachel. I could have helped you figure out if you’re really gay.”
Before Blaine can reply, Kurt is gone and how much he screwed up finally sinks in. Without a second thought for the nearly full cups he paid for and that he’s about to leave behind, he grabs his things and leaves after Kurt, speeding up when he sees him get in his car.
“Kurt! Wait, please!” he calls across the parking lot. There is no way he is letting Kurt leave after that conversation. He stops by the boy’s car, tapping the window with his finger a few times. Kurt rolls it down without looking at him. “This conversation did not go as planned. It came out all wrong.”
“You think?” Kurt deadpans, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah. It sounded like I have to try to like you when what I wanted to say is that I like you more and more every time I see you. I’m falling hard, Kurt, and it’s scary. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even talk about it properly. I’ve never felt this before.”
Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning against the head rest. Without a word, he rolls up the window, turns the engine off and steps out of his car. “Let’s walk.”
Blaine agrees to Kurt’s offer to walk around town mainly because he feels he is going to need distractions if they start talking about their feelings. He would not be able to do it in a low setting like the coffee shop or Kurt’s car. The weather is surprisingly nice for that time of the year and Blaine is disoriented to hear birds chirping in late winter, in Ohio.
“I don’t know—” Blaine begins.
“Stop talking. I need to think,” Kurt snaps, shoving his hands deeper in his pocket and skipping over a puddle.
Blaine lets him think, even after half an hour of silently wandering the streets of downtown Lima. He thinks, too, about what this could mean for the both of them if a positive reconciliation comes out of it. Blaine glances at Kurt and feels a smile forming on his lips. Kurt’s cheeks are reddened by the winter air and his face is set in such a way that it looks like he is pouting. Yes, Blaine is falling really hard, and he has no idea where he is going to land.
“Let’s go to my place,” Kurt finally says, looking at Blaine.
Blaine almost refuses. He is still not over Kurt’s father finding him in his son’s bed, hung over, but declining Kurt’s offer sounds like an even worse idea. He nods and they head back to the parking lot to get their respective cars.
Blaine’s nerves set in when they sit on Kurt’s bed. He mindlessly begins stroking the fur blanket Kurt keeps on his bed and he does not miss the small smile on Kurt’s face when he catches him doing it.
“I’m sorry,” Blaine blurts out.
Kurt nods, pressing his lips together, avoiding Blaine’s eyes.
“I’ve been thinking,” Kurt begins, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to his chest. “If kissing Rachel made you doubt pretty much your entire identity—maybe kissing me would make you know whether you only like me or you like me.”
Blaine swallows, digging his fingers in the brown fur and watching them disappear, not daring to look up. “Maybe,” he answers, clearing his throat afterwards. “Yeah.” Yes, that would definitely confirm stuff. Well, the way his heart is now threatening to beat out of his ribcage is already answer enough, if he’s honest.
Blaine actually hears Kurt swallowing, and then his breath itches when Kurt moves closer to him. “I think it’s funny how both our first kisses were with girls.”
Blaine tries to chuckle, but his throat is too dry. “You’re not angry anymore?” he asks to buy himself some time.
Kurt’s hand is right next to his on the blanket, his fingers threading through the fur like Blaine’s. “You’ve been honest. I could not ask for more, even if your answer does not exactly please me. I’ll take it, though.”
“Kurt, listen,” Blaine says, letting his fingers brush over Kurt’s. “I know you—I like you a lot, and I care about you. And I know all of those feelings are constantly growing. I—I really want to be with you, but I want to do this right.”
Blaine risks a glance up and sees a small smile on Kurt’s face as the boy watches their now joined hands.
“Is there really a right way to do this?” Kurt asks. “As far as I know, there’s no manual. Whatever feels right.”
Blaine nods, letting what Kurt said sink in for a moment. “This feels right,” he finally replies in a quiet voice.
“Yes.”
They look up at the same time, their eyes meeting. Kurt’s hand is warm in his and he squeezes it, his smile mirroring Kurt’s.
“I don’t know yet if I’ll ever feel something stronger for you,” Blaine begins and why couldn’t he stay quiet, he is going to ruin everything again. “I mean—stronger than what I have right now. Whatever that is.”
“I don’t think I possibly can, personally.”
“Why do you have to be so sure of who you are and what you feel while I’m just—flailing and being confused all the time?” Blaine nearly whines.
Kurt chuckles. “I’m not. The difference is that I deal with my own thoughts alone instead of bringing other people into it and when it’s too much, I know when to ask for help.”
“I’d need help right now,” Blaine mutters, rolling his eyes.
“My offer still stands.”
The room becomes eerily quiet after Blaine lets out a whispered ‘okay’. Blaine’s heart is once again trying to beat out of his chest and his mouth feels like he licked a block of salt for the past hour. It’s Kurt’s turn to tighten his grip on Blaine’s hand as he leans forward. Blaine closes his eyes after seeing Kurt do the same and he holds his breath. He is actually terrified of what might come out of that kiss.
Their lips meet and Blaine knows. He knows. It’s over too quickly and it’s too chaste, but it’s enough to straighten his mind. He opens his eyes and sees that Kurt’s are still closed. Kurt is breathing heavily, his lips slightly parted and his fingers pressed on them.
“Wow,” Kurt breathes out, finally opening his eyes.
“I think I need another one. To make sure I concluded the right thing,” Blaine says tentatively, biting his lips. He doesn’t miss Kurt’s eyes shifting from holding Blaine’s gaze to his mouth, nor the blush that colours his cheeks.
“Okay,” Kurt whispers.
Blaine shuts his eyes first this time, the action involuntarily happening when Kurt’s shaking hand cups his jaw. Blaine’s breath itches when he feels Kurt’s lips on his, feels the boy pecking at his lips delicately, almost hesitantly. It’s headed to be exactly like their first one – Blaine’s mind is reeling, their first kiss - so Blaine kisses back, pressing his lips longer and harder on Kurt’s.
It’s Kurt who breaks the kiss, almost jerking away and leaning on his hands, clearly staying as far from Blaine as he can without actually moving away.
“Did it help?” he asks, his voice higher than usual.
“Yes,” Blaine answers in a white voice. “It did.”
“And what’s the conclusion?”
Blaine almost goes for comedy, he almost says ‘well, I’m gay, that’s for sure,’ but Kurt’s eyes are earnest and scared and he cannot do this to him. “I like you a lot more than I thought.”
Kurt’s face breaks into a grin and Blaine laughs when he tries to hide it.
“Well, that’s good news,” Kurt says once he stops, looking too thrilled to talk.
“Is it?” Blaine is leaning forward, his eyes set on Kurt’s mouth.
He kisses Kurt before he can reply, gripping Kurt’s shoulder to steady himself and not topple on him. Kurt is smiling into the kiss, which in turn makes Blaine smile, resulting on the both of them just smiling against the other’s mouth and Blaine would feel ridiculous if it didn’t feel so damn good.
“This should be called the Rachel Berry Test,” Kurt comments once they finally break apart, their foreheads still pressed together.
“I’m sure she would be thrilled.”
“Knowing her? Yes, she would.”
Blaine presses his lips against Kurt’s once more, and while he moans when their tongues touch, he will forever overview this detail to focus on the groan that escapes Kurt’s throat at the same time.
Other Stories.
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Date: 2011-02-23 08:40 am (UTC)Regardless!! You know I think you did a great job of this :D so adorable on so many levels.
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-23 08:41 am (UTC)Mostly, though, I just want to let you know that you are, by far, the best Blaine/Kurt fiction writer I've have the pleasure of reading. I'm excited for more! :)
Can take down the italics down a few notches though :x
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:21 pm (UTC)Don't worry, I'm not that heavy on them usually, I don't know what happened XD
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Date: 2011-02-23 09:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:19 pm (UTC)Yes, I agree with you. I wish the writers would listen to the fans a bit more :P
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Date: 2011-02-23 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:18 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2011-02-23 10:20 am (UTC)This was amazing, as always! I love the way you write Blaine and Kurt :)
What I missed in this episode was Kurt telling Blaine that he could kiss him to clarify his confusion :D
Waiting for more stories :) x
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:18 pm (UTC)Yes, I agree. We need a kiss, soon. I don't care the context. Just give us a smooch!
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Date: 2011-02-23 10:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 02:16 pm (UTC)Kurt's such a strong person, and you wrote him beautifully <3
Idk why, but I laughed so hard at
It would have been easier if Kurt’s new favourite movie was something like No Strings Attached in terms of mood, but Blaine will deal with ballet and psychosis, even if that means getting Tchaikovsky’s compositions stuck in his head for another week.
Time to make Black Swan Kurt icons, lmao
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:14 pm (UTC)I just love the idea of Kurt being a Black Swan fanboy.
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Date: 2011-02-23 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:12 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2011-02-23 02:46 pm (UTC)It's all lovely — Blaine trying so hard to sort out his feelings, making guesses about what's irritating Kurt, daring to take the Rachel Berry Test with Kurt — but I think the thing that stands out for me is the line above. Blaine strikes me as the sort of person who doesn't confide in others much, doesn't have a lot of close friends, or both. In WIGYA, he's "in love," but he doesn't even tell Kurt before he announces it to the whole gaggle of Warblers. Kurt, though, has all the ND kids and his dad. Aside from that, I love the little touches about Black Swan, the furry blanket, Blaine losing sleep. It's all very organic, and I could imagine this happening on the show.
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Date: 2011-02-23 05:11 pm (UTC)I'm glad to know someone sees Blaine the way I do. I always figured it had to be something like this that pushed him to be very honest with Kurt minutes after meeting him. He finally found someone to talk to about the things he always keeps to himself, usually.
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Date: 2011-02-23 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 05:09 pm (UTC)Seriously, though, thank you. I'm glad you liked it!
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Date: 2011-02-23 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 08:25 pm (UTC)And this time, well, thank you :) Once again you created something that I can fully imagine and that is totally (awesome) possible. They're perfectly IC and everything is right. When I read this, I felt like I was still watching the show. Well, not. It was better X'D
So, yep, thank you. It's always ALWAYS a pleasure to read your fics :)
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Date: 2011-02-23 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 09:10 pm (UTC)Back to the fic: OH MY GOD CARO WHY DID YOU NOT MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT THIS TO ME EARLIER OH MY GOD. THIS WAS AWESOME AND AMAZING AND ALL KINDS OF FANTASTIC AND BRILLIANT AND IT IS EXACTLY WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN AFTER LAST NIGHT.
also ignore whoever said you needed to tone down the italics. they were perfectly fine.I will gleefully take the blame for this fic existing.
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Date: 2011-02-23 09:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-02-23 10:20 pm (UTC)that's what she should call her song! it would be epic!!
anyway, very sweet fic here. blaine is not stupid, but he's really good at seeming that way.~
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Date: 2011-02-23 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-23 10:58 pm (UTC)