We're Running Out
Dec. 21st, 2009 09:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fleurdeliseebckpTitle: We’re Running Out
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fleurdelisee
Word Count: 680
Rating: R (to play safe)
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third, Ryan centered.
Summary: It would be simple to always take the same brand and be over with it in five minutes. But Brendon always wants to try new ones and Ryan always complains they’re too expensive, so they end up arguing for minutes on end, both waving bottles around while offended old people push past them to reach for the Tylenols.
Disclaimer: Never happened as far as I know. If you stumbled upon this by Googling your name (seriously, don't you know it was a bad idea?), please, for the love of everything that's good, go away.
Beta:devilswhore_x
Author Notes: So, after I tweeted this : Saw two boys studying the lube aisle at the drugstore. I don't know where to begin, there's way too much win in this. 5:39 PM Dec 18th from TweetDeck,alphabetatoast kind of convinced me to turn it into Ryden. Hope you enjoy it, darling!
Also, I'm not posting it anywhere else than on my journal but if you guys judge it should, tell me. :/
If there is one sentence that Ryan hates, it’s ‘we’re running out’.
The first reason is that it always comes at the wrong moment, when he’s naked and so horny he might explode, and Brendon’s pressing the bottle, which makes weird noises, trying to get the last drops out. The second reason is that it means they’ll have to go to CVS and, because they used to get in terrible fights over who gets to go, both stand in the middle of the aisle, awkwardly staring at the different bottles of lube until they agree on one.
It would be simple to always take the same brand and be over with it in five minutes. But Brendon always wants to try new ones and Ryan always complains they’re too expensive, so they end up arguing for minutes on end, both waving bottles around while offended old people push past them to reach for the Tylenols. Because yes, of course, it has to be in the same aisle than fucking pain killers and cough drops. This doesn’t make it even more awkward to look at lubricant while a mom offers her son to choose between Flintstones and Garfield vitamin tablets, not at all, c’mon.
That’s why they’re standing, once more, in front of the aisle on a weekday afternoon, looking at the different bottles. Brendon is going on about there being too many colorful bottles for him to be able to pick only one while Ryan squints at the price tags.
“Oh, Ry! Look! This one feels warm!”
“Yeah and that one tastes of strawberry and champagne but we’re still not getting it. It’s way too expensive for something spit can replace.”
“No it can’t. We’ve been running on spit for a week now and I’m sore.”
A woman huffs as she walks past them and great, Brendon is absolutely unable to be quiet.
“Brendon, keep it low for fuck’s sake. We’re not grocery shopping,” Ryan snaps and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright, we’re taking that one.” Ryan grabs one bottle from the shelf and pushes it into Brendon’s hands.
“Ry,” Brendon snickers, “I didn’t know you were concerned by the health of your vagina.”
Ryan frowns and looks more attentively at the bottle, noticing the way too small line saying ’for her’.
“Oh, fuck you,” he groans and puts the bottle back on the shelf.
“Not with this,” Brendon laughs. “Okay,” he says, once he calmed down. “Which one? I’m sick of the one we always take, it smells weird.”
“You smell weird.”
Brendon stares at him for a few seconds, disbelief etched over his features.
“You spend too much time with me and Wentz.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I don—“
“Don’t start this, Ross, you know you will lose. I don’t want to get in a fight.”
“Fine, whatever, “Ryan sighs, knowing too well that no one can beat Brendon at that game.
Several minutes and too many fights later, Brendon pushed Ryan out of the aisle and sent him to go get shampoo before he murdered him and his fucking stubbornness, saying he’ll meet him at the cash register.
Ryan was more than happy to be done with this painful task and, rather stupidly he’d say, trusted Brendon to choose one that was not too expensive and normal for once in his lifetime.
It’s only later that night, when Ryan feels something uncomfortably warm between his legs that he understands trusting Brendon was in fact a terrible idea. This feeling only enhances when he finds the bill that Brendon had very obviously tried to hide from him.
(He will never admit it, but once the first shock disappeared, he was grateful for Brendon to have bought that one. Never.)
Author:
fleurdeliseeWord Count: 680
Rating: R (to play safe)
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon
POV: Third, Ryan centered.
Summary: It would be simple to always take the same brand and be over with it in five minutes. But Brendon always wants to try new ones and Ryan always complains they’re too expensive, so they end up arguing for minutes on end, both waving bottles around while offended old people push past them to reach for the Tylenols.
Disclaimer: Never happened as far as I know. If you stumbled upon this by Googling your name (seriously, don't you know it was a bad idea?), please, for the love of everything that's good, go away.
Beta:
devilswhore_xAuthor Notes: So, after I tweeted this : Saw two boys studying the lube aisle at the drugstore. I don't know where to begin, there's way too much win in this. 5:39 PM Dec 18th from TweetDeck,
alphabetatoast kind of convinced me to turn it into Ryden. Hope you enjoy it, darling!Also, I'm not posting it anywhere else than on my journal but if you guys judge it should, tell me. :/
If there is one sentence that Ryan hates, it’s ‘we’re running out’.
The first reason is that it always comes at the wrong moment, when he’s naked and so horny he might explode, and Brendon’s pressing the bottle, which makes weird noises, trying to get the last drops out. The second reason is that it means they’ll have to go to CVS and, because they used to get in terrible fights over who gets to go, both stand in the middle of the aisle, awkwardly staring at the different bottles of lube until they agree on one.
It would be simple to always take the same brand and be over with it in five minutes. But Brendon always wants to try new ones and Ryan always complains they’re too expensive, so they end up arguing for minutes on end, both waving bottles around while offended old people push past them to reach for the Tylenols. Because yes, of course, it has to be in the same aisle than fucking pain killers and cough drops. This doesn’t make it even more awkward to look at lubricant while a mom offers her son to choose between Flintstones and Garfield vitamin tablets, not at all, c’mon.
That’s why they’re standing, once more, in front of the aisle on a weekday afternoon, looking at the different bottles. Brendon is going on about there being too many colorful bottles for him to be able to pick only one while Ryan squints at the price tags.
“Oh, Ry! Look! This one feels warm!”
“Yeah and that one tastes of strawberry and champagne but we’re still not getting it. It’s way too expensive for something spit can replace.”
“No it can’t. We’ve been running on spit for a week now and I’m sore.”
A woman huffs as she walks past them and great, Brendon is absolutely unable to be quiet.
“Brendon, keep it low for fuck’s sake. We’re not grocery shopping,” Ryan snaps and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright, we’re taking that one.” Ryan grabs one bottle from the shelf and pushes it into Brendon’s hands.
“Ry,” Brendon snickers, “I didn’t know you were concerned by the health of your vagina.”
Ryan frowns and looks more attentively at the bottle, noticing the way too small line saying ’for her’.
“Oh, fuck you,” he groans and puts the bottle back on the shelf.
“Not with this,” Brendon laughs. “Okay,” he says, once he calmed down. “Which one? I’m sick of the one we always take, it smells weird.”
“You smell weird.”
Brendon stares at him for a few seconds, disbelief etched over his features.
“You spend too much time with me and Wentz.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I don—“
“Don’t start this, Ross, you know you will lose. I don’t want to get in a fight.”
“Fine, whatever, “Ryan sighs, knowing too well that no one can beat Brendon at that game.
Several minutes and too many fights later, Brendon pushed Ryan out of the aisle and sent him to go get shampoo before he murdered him and his fucking stubbornness, saying he’ll meet him at the cash register.
Ryan was more than happy to be done with this painful task and, rather stupidly he’d say, trusted Brendon to choose one that was not too expensive and normal for once in his lifetime.
It’s only later that night, when Ryan feels something uncomfortably warm between his legs that he understands trusting Brendon was in fact a terrible idea. This feeling only enhances when he finds the bill that Brendon had very obviously tried to hide from him.
(He will never admit it, but once the first shock disappeared, he was grateful for Brendon to have bought that one. Never.)
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Date: 2009-12-25 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-26 05:36 pm (UTC)